How to Be Great, Part 4: Avoid Negative Energy

September 5, 2012 September 5, 2012 by Johnny N Boxing Training, Mental Training 88 Comments

avoid negative energy

Negative energy limits you. It steals precious energy from you, makes you feel bad, and keeps you from achieving your dreams. In a world that isn’t perfect, only positive energy can help you grow into greatness.

The preparation for success is to identify and protect yourself from all forms of negative energy.

 

Negative People and Negative Energy

Negative people are resisting, refusing, disagreeable, pessimistic, detrimental, destroying, and limiting.

They don’t help you. They don’t make you stronger. Their number one goal is to SHUT YOU DOWN! And for no reason other than because they are negative. It has NOTHING to do with you; they just don’t enjoy life. Nothing is perfect, and their nature makes them react NEGATIVELY to everything.

Negative energy wears you out, takes the fun out of life, and kills all your dreams before they’re even given a chance. Negativity is that little voice that keeps saying, “You can’t, you suck, it’ll never happen.

And WHY?! Why would anybody want that? How does this kind of thinking help ANYONE? How does negativity make anyone smarter, stronger, harder working, or luckier, or more likely to succeed? Why would we keep an idea lingering in our minds if it didn’t do anything for us? Negativity is useless and there’s no place for it in your life.

Negativity is USELESS!

If you ever want to do anything great with your life, you have to avoid all negative people and negativity.

 

Identifying negative people

The earlier parts of my life were some of the hardest years of my life because I didn’t know how to identify negativity. I didn’t have that inner confidence. Not knowing how to identify negativity made me an easy target for negative people. These are the people in your life who pretend to be your friend. They act like they’re helping you or doing you a favor but for some reason you just feel down and powerless when they’re around. They don’t do anything meaningful for you, and they’re aren’t even fun to be around.

The most obvious ways to identify negative people and/or negative energy:

 

Unsupportive

I call this the “dream-killer” trait. “Dream killers” ARE DANGEROUS and will drag you down in their mediocrity. “Dream killers” are those people who don’t believe in high ambitions. They have no dreams of their own and will certainly not support yours. They’re the ones calling you crazy every time you try to do something amazing, or different, or wildly ambitious. The worst dream killers are not only non-believers, they even get in your way! There are so many talented and hopeful individuals who will never get their chance in life because they’re surrounded by dream killers.

 

Jealous/Envious

It might be hard to imagine but there will always be people jealous of you for something. They want something you have but they don’t know how to get it and so they’ll resent you for being better looking, having more money, having a better bf/gf, driving a nice car, traveling to fun places, getting better grades, etc…the list goes on. It’s really just their insecurity. They’re insecure and mentally weak. They don’t realize you might actually be insecure about yourself for the same reasons! They don’t realize they could have all those same things if only they focused on themselves instead of you!

 

Critics (deconstructive)

Anybody that criticizes you in a way that doesn’t help you AND/OR offends you AND/OR boosts their ego should be avoided at all costs. I call these people haters. They’re very quick to judge and especially enjoy criticizing other people. It’s amazing, really, to have such a nasty disposition on life in general. It’s easy to be a hater because NOTHING IS PERFECT! But instead of improving things, they find it much easier to criticize.

 

Selfish

Selfish people only care about themselves. They don’t care about you or your dreams. They will take everything you have and ruin everything you worked for because they think it benefits them. They have a big ego that needs to feed itself by “taking” from everyone around them. Avoid them at all costs.

 

Negative energy from the outside

Negative strangers

The most common form of negativity will probably come from strangers. Go on youtube and read the comments section, and you’ll see what I mean. For some reason people feel awfully empowered to go around judging and hating people they don’t know. And that’s just how negative strangers work. They come up with a crazy reason in their own head to dislike you and then express it directly or indirectly.

Avoid them immediately. The more time you give to them, the more energy they will draw out from your life! Again, this is YOUR LIFE! There’s no reason why a hateful stranger should even get one second of your time. Their hateful opinions deserve none of your attention. THEY ARE NOTHING.

Negative coaches

Now this is kind of sad. These might be teachers, mentors, coaches, trainers, or otherwise people WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU. They were supposed to be making you better, boosting your skills and confidence. But instead, they do the opposite. They make you feel weak and pathetic, insecure and inadequate. Remember, a coach’s job is to improve you! And if you don’t feel like you’re improving and feeling better about yourself, you need to get a better coach.

Some of the worst coaches I’ve ever seen are the ones with the biggest ego. They care more about making themselves feel good than making you feel good. They’re the ones always forcing you to prove yourself. The ones making you feel like you’re not good enough to be coached by them, or that you’re lucky to even have them for a coach. They make you feel guilty for not having suffered the same way they suffered. NOW WHAT THE HELL KIND OF COACHING RELATIONSHIP IS THAT?!

Negative friends

This happens all the time! Many people will never be successful because they just don’t know how to choose good friends. Negative friends are basically “haters in disguise”. Maybe they were positive when you first met them but now they’ve turned negative because they become victims of negativity elsewhere in their life.

Friends are typically the first people you will go to when asking for advice or an opinion. Negative feedback over the years will only turn you into a negative person and look at the world in a negative way. It makes you mentally weak, mentally confined, and scared to take chances and dream big and work hard. It’s impossible to be successful when all you’re surrounded by is negativity.

Negative family

Negativity coming from the family is the saddest thing. Family was supposed to be a place of comfort and security, not just for your body, but for your mind, your hopes, dreams, ambitions, goals, and happiness. Unfortunately, it isn’t always the case. Maybe something tragic happened to your parents. Maybe they were denied their own dreams or subjected to negative parents themselves and now they’ve projected it back to you. It hurts to say that toxic parents are often the cause of failed dreams.

 

Negative energy from the inside

This is the worst part! Negative energy from the inside is the worst. If you have it, somebody might have said something so horrible to you that you’ve actually internalized it and now live it. Negative energy from the inside will always cause insecurity and lack of self-confidence. It gives you fear, doubt, and makes you think less of yourself. It closes opportunities in your life and makes life less fun. I don’t care how fear and doubt is supposed to make you “realistic”. Life is about making yourself the absolute best you can be and this won’t be possible if you got issues with yourself.

Most people identify themselves a certain way because other people MADE them feel that way. Your parents gave you a name, your teachers told you what you were good at, your friends defined your personality. Somewhere along the line, you forget to control your identity.

You forgot that you and only you should have the biggest impact on your life and your future. Don’t let anybody else define you. They don’t get to tell you what you are and aren’t good at. Everyone has talents, but talents don’t define your identity. That’s for you to decide. It’s your life; you get to choose what you want to be.

YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE…or else other people will choose for you.

 

The cost of being negative

Being a negative person turns you into the negative people I described above. It will cost you and you might not even realize it. People might avoid you. Not because they’re better than you but because they don’t want negativity in their own lives.

As a boxing coach, I find it hard to work with negative people. My job is to make people better and it’s harder to do when they’re full of insecurity. The number one trait holding people back from living the lives they dreamed of is insecurity. “Oh but what if I wasn’t born with natural reflexes? What if I CAN’T BE a good fighter?” No coach wants to hear that. There are so many fighters hustling to be the best and I would rather focus on the ones that haven’t given up on themselves a long time ago.

 

Over-coming weaknesses

While it is true that everyone has weaknesses and disadvantages, they CAN be overcome. Even if you can’t overcome it, you still have to try! All the great fighters had to overcome something. In fact, it’s usually their ACT of overcoming their weakness that made them great. Sometimes it’s the one thing that you fail at, that makes you go out and become the best at it. Some of the most successful individuals became great because they were motivated by being so terrible at something. The only way is to overcome your weakness is to SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE AND DEVELOP YOURSELF FROM WITHIN.

Mike Tyson was too short.
Thomas Hearns had no chin.
Willie Pep had no power.

So what’s your weakness? What’s your excuse for not being great?

 

Dealing with Negativity

When it comes to people, the best thing you can do is to avoid them. Stop listening to them, stop talking to them. Don’t waste your time trying to argue, or reason, or help them. Stop all of it. If you keep coming back, then you’re asking for trouble.

Now what about people you can’t get rid of? You can’t get rid of negative family or negative co-workers. What you can do is develop a stronger mental shield. And this is something I feel everyone should develop as soon as possible. Because the stronger this mental shield, the more you can protect yourself and thrive even in the presence of negative energy. You have to be able to take criticism. You have to be able to accept the fact that people you don’t know, are going to look at you, and judge you, and hate what they see. And you need to have the confidence to know that this is perfectly fine! Because the more successful you become, the more haters you will have!

It’s ok for haters to exist,
it’s not ok for them to affect your life!

Negative people will always make you feel like it’s you that’s negative. They’ll blame your race, your language, your hair color, anything that would differentiate you from them could be blamed. They make everything about you when in fact it’s not. It’s about them, their issues, their failures, their lack of joy in life. And the moment you realize their negativity is because they’re unhappy with their own lives, you will no longer feel bad about yourself!

 

The moment you realize negative people are unhappy with themselves,
you no longer blame yourself for their negativity.

Haters will exist no matter what you do. I’ll use myself for instance. My passion is boxing, because it makes me happy. I built a website to help other boxers, like myself. My knowledge is helpful but it can always be improved. My focus of course is to help myself and help others as best as I can. My site is free for anybody to read; it’s not forced down anyone’s throat. I’m not spreading any negativity or causing harm to anybody. I don’t even have time to notice what other people are doing. Simply put, I’m minding my own business. So far so good, right?

…but here come the haters!!!

Every now and then I get a couple comments on my articles or videos of people telling me that not only am I wrong, but I’m also stupid and inexperienced. WOW, really? So let’s say I AM stupid and that I AM wrong. But how does them saying negative things benefit me or benefit a reader or benefit the sport of boxing or anybody at all? It’s a useless comment, I can’t do anything with it. And haters are basically a bunch of useless people.

And then there are the people “just trying to help”. I’m referring to ones that like to push their knowledge *COUGH* EGO *COUGH* onto others. These are the trolls who argue back and forth on the internet because they feel the absolute need to prove a point (maybe ’cause their superficial identity is dependent on this?). These people aren’t helping anybody either. How can you possibly be helping when you focus your energy on the people arguing against you as opposed to the people who want to listen to you? Not only are they not helping anyone, but they’re also creating enemies and feeding the negative energy in arguments.

If these people actually wanted to help, they’d be focusing on their own website or their own personal goals. Think about it. If I was a Christian who believed in Christian values, I wouldn’t waste my time preaching at a Catholic church.

Protect Your Future

You have to protect your future! You are responsible for your own life. You can’t afford to waste your energy on people and things that don’t improve your life. You need every last bit of energy, every opportunity, every shred of hope, and all the love you can gather in order to be successful. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR FUTURE! Control the type of energy you let into your life!

If I see something I don’t like, I simply delete it from my life. I don’t have time for people like that. There are so many things that I enjoy in life, friends I want to be with, places I want to see, things I want to do. Life is so amazing but unfortunately I won’t live forever to enjoy it all. And so I really don’t have any time for negativity in my life. I also don’t have time to be negative because I’m so busy being positive!

It’s really important that you surround yourself with positive people because this will make you go out and do positive things! Hang out with a bunch of adventurous, free-spirited people, and guess what you will become! Hang out with musicians and artists, and guess what you will become. Hang out with happy, successful people, AND GUESS WHAT YOU WILL BECOME!

When the end of time comes; you don’t want to be the guy crying on the street because his family left him, his friends forgot him, his business partner cheated him, etc and etc. And all that starts with today. Surround yourself with the people who care about you and want to be a part of your success and/or help you in whatever way they can. Surround yourself with positive energy and be happy forever!

 

Read the other parts of this series:

boxing ebook Advanced Boxing Techniques 30 Day Fighter's Diet Advanced Boxing Footwork Drills
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88 Comments

Mikael September 6, 2012 at 5:35 am

Wow! This was an amazing post and you are a very inspiring coach!

Greetings from Finland :)

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Elijah April 7, 2014 at 5:17 pm

This is exactly how I have felt most of my life. If negative people are really trying to be helpful why is it that they conclude in their mind and through their actions that the best way to be helpful is to be brash, rude and generally negative. It’s likethey themselves do not see or are unaware of their unhelpful impact. Also, when you said that fear and doubt are not reality; I agree, because every1 makes their own reality. The worst is even when people assume that their reality is better & right and you even almost believe them. I think that this whole honest truth and rude comments and disrespectful way of relating to others is just an excuse for negative people to justify their actions; saying you are sensitive when you were perfectly happy, not harming anyone and going about your business.
An example, have you noticed that negative people are scared of others who will not take their nonsense, whereas, they will gladly throw you under a bus to get their ‘points’ accross. This is because the people whom they know will not take their nonsense will have what you call a strong mental shield to cuss them, argue back or suimply ignore. Another example you have probably expereienced is when some1 has done a bad thing but the usual negative people do not have the guts to confront them expecially when that some1 is of strong character, will retaliate or escalate the situation. It is then you who has good intentions that they see as an easy mark.
You can only trust the people you trust. And they are the people who only want what is good for you, which is your well-being.

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Alejandro September 6, 2012 at 10:23 am

Wow is right! You just summed up a large part of my life and thoughts…Amazing (you keep on doing that from time to time btw ha). I have also found that when you truly ignore the negativity or the negative people, I mean without a doubt and with true conviction, you expose them for the pathetic people they really are, and then you get a silent massive respect from them and they avoid you. A very small and deranged percentage of them will be offensive and get in your face when you ignore them and that”s when you have take life’s challenge and act on the confrontation and be tough…. Your the best I’ve seen at what you do bro, your instructions and thoughts online go far beyond those hustlers and so called coaches in the boxing gyms today..stay tough

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Karen February 19, 2014 at 1:20 pm

I love this website. Thank you for taking the time to write. I stumbled upon this website today and it’s just the advice I needed to hear. I LOVE it! Very inspiring.

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curtis c September 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UXeqv0LAC8 what do you think of this? Personally I think this is the crem dela crem of slipping/ head movement.

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aymcheerup September 6, 2012 at 2:22 pm

i love this article johnny,its so true….my frends think im crazy and wasting time cuz ders no money involve in the sports im training and you get hurt….but what can i do..there my friends since highschool…dey love to watch the sport but dey dont do the same sports as i do..they dont have that mentality that i have and thats y dey prolly dont understand….its sumtimes awkward chilling with them..because i cant talk bout my training and stuff…its weird telling them…any suggestions johnny?how would you deal with it???? thanks

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Johnny N September 10, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Talk to people you relate with, or keep your ideas to yourself if your friends are negative about it.

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Abhi khandelwal October 13, 2013 at 11:49 am

Hey,
You said “to create a strong mental sheild as soon as possible”.! Can you tell the steps to do it and be mentally tough as a teenage student ?

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OG September 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Johnny,

Another great article. I’ve really learned a lot from your site, and use it in my fighting as well as to share with my friends when we train together. Thanks for all the time and work you’ve put into this website.

Are you thinking of creating T-shirts any time in the future?

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Johnny N September 10, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Thanks for the support. Unfortunately, I have decided not to mess with T-shirts in the near future. It’s too much time and effort and doesn’t necessarily help my goals of giving out boxing knowledge at this point. I will definitely think about it again in the future if I can find a way to get quality shirts printed cheaply and sell them easily.

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daniel September 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I have suggestion.Tell them to go fuck themselves :) Joking…just dont talk with them about this stuff.If they see you are happy about this, and they are your true friends, they will support you

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Jason September 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Always read your posts but never have left a comment … Thanks for all of the great advice. Keep up the good work coach!

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Jeremy Willis September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Very powerful words man, thank you…

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Sondre September 7, 2012 at 1:46 am

Very good!!! i learned so much from this. Keep on! you have helped alot of people, i learned alot of avoiding negativity today and also i learned that i have to be vigilant myself and in addition to avoid negative people i have to make sure im not negative to others too, especially thoose who likes me. Do to other what you want them to do to you :D

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nooby September 7, 2012 at 7:17 am

ooops im really sorry johnny but i think i am the one who put “WOW REALLY?” in one of your YouTube vids :P i wasn’t questioning your knowledge, i was impressed WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE that i thought it couldn’t be true………..really sorry, didn’t mean to be negative :(

i guess that’s the weaknesses with writing…people read things differently.

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manex September 7, 2012 at 11:01 pm

“Surround yourself with the people who care about you and want to be a part of your success and/or help you in whatever way they can. Surround yourself with positive energy and be happy forever!”

That’s beautiful Johnny!

I always look forward to your articles.

Keep up the good work.

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Gil September 8, 2012 at 7:54 am

“It’s ok for haters to exist”

And that sadly is all haters and negative people do..Exist.

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The Freak September 8, 2012 at 8:53 am

Haters can hate but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them. Haters/negative people have one thing in common in that they’re all very miserable people. Notice I didn’t say they’re unsuccessful or losers. Haters can and are often times what we incorrectly deem as winners or successful people and have often risen to the top of their field by “hating” instead of on their own merits. Oops sounds like I’m drinking haterade on that one but haters aren’t always bitter so-called looooosers. Ken Kesey who is best known as the author of “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” once said something along the lines of ‘Why do people constantly strive to tear one another down because no one is that big to begin with.’ I’m paraphrasing what he said because I don’t remember the exact quote but it’s true that we’re all just weak flesh and bones and often times we try to live up to unrealistic expectations the haters or more aptly named the destroyers place on us.

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andrewp September 9, 2012 at 7:13 am

fantastic article johnny lots and lots of good points and refreshing perspective .i myself have posted a few times.but honestly its purely borne out of a love of boxing and a great respect for you and this website.i am not a hater my comments come from a thirst for continual improvement .there are lots and lots of paths to a mountain top johnny.respect other peoples path and point of view.i do feel you are too quick to judge miner points as reasons to caterise people into negative and haters.i can imagine its easy to put people into these groups when you are bombardid wih stuff from actual haters and negative people.it also can put a person into defensive mode when your subconscius (defends you against anything that contradicts your opinion).its a brilliant article johnny just dont be too quick to judge sentence and condemn

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Johnny N September 9, 2012 at 9:14 am

Solid points! Thank you, andrew.

PS: if I took the time to reply to people, I didn’t consider them a hater. The hater comments are the ones I delete and never respond to at all. ;)

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andrewp September 9, 2012 at 11:09 am

thanks johnny

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Patryk September 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Hello. I was wondering if someone could tell me what would be optimal weight for me. I’m 183 cm height and I weigh 82 kg. My stamina is quite good I think, I can spar for 12 rounds without a problem and give my best for 6 rounds non stop during a real fight.
If I get my weight to 79 kg will I still have the same power in my punch? Will my speed improve?

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Johnny N September 10, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I can’t guarantee anything for you. You have to try it and see for yourself.

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j September 10, 2012 at 3:35 pm

i was reading a sport psychology book and unfortunately 97% of society is fueled by negativity, but the human mind is absolutely beautiful, only you can control what you let in, you cant control what other people say or do, but you can control what you let in your mind, choose to ignore it or let it eat you alive, you said a part about negativity in family but didnt say how to avoid it johnny, may i make a suggestion, i was listening to an audio a while back and it was a man named David Imonitie he was living with his dad in a small place and sleeping on a twin bed he decided to become a millionaire and his father and family doubted him, but what he did was not cut them off, but rather he kept the conversations short and avoided talking about his dreams, he knew he was going to hear negativity “find a real job” “try doing this” but he stuck with his goals, when he got back from his network marketing conventions he would head straight to his room and pop on an audio that was full of positivity and inspiration, now he is making about 250,000 a month you can look him up on google he should pop up right away, (David Imonitie Jr.) now he always has an audio playing stays with a earphone in one of his ears, he is very careful who he talks to because words turn into thoughts and thoughts are things, by saying something it gives it life all in all only you can feed that thought to keep it alive or you can kill it with neglecting it, on a P.N I remember reading comments about people wanting more articles then bam like wildfire there coming out you probably just had to put the finishing touches on them thats all ;) but the amazing thing is johnny it shows you love what you do, and your a great mentor, stay hungry and hopefully you can keep feeding our hunger, then we can spread to others as well, i sure have taught some people a couple tricks by learning and practicing your techniques :)

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j September 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

real quick i would like to add David Imonitie also said for people that dont agree with your dreams or dont believe in you you need to grab your phone and click delete

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Ant September 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

You are a great trainer and person. Thanks for being an inspiration!

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Joaquim September 11, 2012 at 3:12 am

What a clear mind you got Johnny, it’s a very rare gift to be able to make a clean work on yourself that way and even more difficult, keeping up the rythm during years. You are my exemple.
If you got the time, I know you talked about an article about propper shadow boxing, I can’t wait to read what you got to say about it.
Keep it cool, My respect, from Switzerland

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Johnny N September 12, 2012 at 8:58 am

I plan to make the video on shadow-boxing today and have the article out maybe in a few weeks. :)

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Murakami September 11, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I just recently came across this site… and i am very glad i did.
well written article and it is so true. i find myself in situations
where negative people just want to pry into my life because of their
own insecurities. i am going to work on my ‘mental shield’ and keep
boxing.

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Alex D September 17, 2012 at 7:42 am

Great article Johnny, it’s definitely easy to get discouraged when you’re training & you just feel down on yourself. I’ve been working on noticing what other fighters are doing but not comparing myself to them anymore. I used to get consumed with “man this guy is strong, or he’s really fast w/his combos…I should be fighting just like that!” I’ve realized I have my body & I can control how I train, run, eat, strength train. Katt Williams said it true n”be in tune w/ur star player.”

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Mjay September 18, 2012 at 5:30 pm

This was just what i needed to read right now. I am allowing myself to be heavily influenced by others negativity, its so bad i had to take a week off training because i was so mentally exhausted…has given me alot to think about, gracias !

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Andrew September 24, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Great series of motivational articles. Thank you.

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Paul Hemmings September 27, 2012 at 5:51 am

I’ve been involved in Boxing for over 27 years has a fighter and Trainer. Here in England. And I have to say that this is one of the best training web sites I’ve ever come across. Well done Jonny, Please keep up the good work. You’ve put Boxing and positive life skills to a very high level. Well done

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Johnny N October 2, 2012 at 1:34 pm

That’s nearly as many years as I’ve been alive. Thank you Paul!

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Roland Allen October 2, 2012 at 2:20 am

Wow!! What a great article! Thank you, I really like this.

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Joey October 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Johnny, How do you deal with cocky people? the annoying types of people who think they can knock anyone out just because they learned a 1-2 combination. those type of people really get under my skin. I try not to let those people get under my skin, but it’s hard.

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Johnny N October 7, 2012 at 3:01 am

I don’t deal with them. I stand elsewhere and deal with other people that I like.

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Vincent October 8, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Well spoken, and so and true. I’m getting ready for my match this is a good starting message.

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Omari Gadlin October 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I completely agree 100% great post never let anyone tell you that you cant do something despite your situation or age, anything is possible in this world just stay focused, have hope and make it happen, I myself is doing the same thing.

I gave up on boxing 7 years ago at age 20 because all I ever heard from family or friends was I cant do this cant do that your too short to do this or that I’m 5’11 210 I wanted to be a heavy weight but, I got discouraged so much I practically put my dream to the side of one day becoming a great boxer, at age 27 now I fully regret it and feel I’m too old a lot has happened in my life that I had no control over.

I say this to the younger generation never give up on your dreams and compromise as I did, on what negativity is said about you stay strong, focused and give it your all, I hope for the best for everyone here this is a great website with information all you need to know about boxing take care and god bless!

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White Bill October 22, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Wow man ! Great motivational speech :)

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FELIX October 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I AGREE 100% THIS TRULY IS THE WAY TO LOOK AT IT.. YOUR WEBSITE IS VERY HELPFUL

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Beleal Zarrour November 4, 2012 at 11:35 am

Hi,

All 5 parts to this series are very insightful. I lost my motivation to further pursue my goals sometime back and let me tell you that your posts were some of the things that reminded me of what I stood for. They refueled my inspiration. For that I thank you sir.

Am not a boxer but I am looking to incorporate boxing into my workouts. Where do you recommend I begin?

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Johnny N November 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Shadowboxing or heavy bag or mitts. Either of those have the most common “boxing elements” of a workout.

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J November 7, 2012 at 11:48 pm

i remember the first time i sparred at my gym, i was fatigued and the coach laughed at me afterwards, and he said i did good i knew i didnt, but a day later a guy asked the guy who sparred me who won, and the guy replied “i kicked his ass”, how do you deal with people in the gym that brag about beating you in sparring? what would you say if you seen that in person or in one of your fighters?

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Johnny N November 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I probably wouldn’t say anything, I’d just train harder.

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don December 13, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Wow another awesome article here in this website. This not only pertains to boxing but lessons here are very much applicable in real life; wether the occasion calls it. Ive got a lot of issues with myself regarding negativity, Im really striving to change into a better person so I can make a difference out of my life. We only live once and whats the point of filling our lives with negativity? It only hinders us. Other athletes are blind, deaf and some dont have feet nor hands, but they made a difference, how much more am I? Im a normal person

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Matty December 19, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Hi Johnny.
Just want to thank you bro. Your articles are a great asset to anyone, boxer or not. Reading this particular series has definitely opened my eyes. Consider me awake! I have made myself a great goal so watch out for an up and coming kiwi boxer in the near future because I am on my way bro. My journey starts now. Thanks for the inspiration man!

Onward!

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grimmjow December 20, 2012 at 8:37 am

wow thank you so so so much you gave me so much inspiration you changed my life i realy have negative friend and now i should just forget what they say and more on and also im just wondering are there female boxes out there im in very good shape and i think i might make it if i try hard
thank you…

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Johnny N December 21, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Yes, there are many female boxers out there. Keep trying and look around. There are so many local and international opportunities to do amateur boxing, it’s such a great sport.

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clarke December 21, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Great article. Your website is such a great resource, thanks for helping us all.

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Pinky December 27, 2012 at 12:01 am

Do you have any concrete advice on how to develop a mental shield? Wherever we go, there will always be negative people and no matter how you get used to it, sometimes it can still affect. A mental shield sounds really wonderful but how exactly?

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Johnny N January 5, 2013 at 11:54 am

Sometimes it can be something as simple as some sentences that you repeat to yourself. Do what you want, live life. Ignore the negativity. Maybe you have to say, “I believe in myself.” a hundred times over and over. It gets easier after a while.

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Pinky January 12, 2013 at 12:48 pm

Thank you for the advice. :-)

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Nicholas January 7, 2013 at 7:00 am

Hi. Your article really struck me. I used to love bball, but i started it late, in year 3 of my school where we have to study 4 years. Having not played any sports since i was born, i sucked at it. What was worse was that i was tall for my age and ppl expected great things from me. Soon the insults came and i felt like giving up. But it was my passion and after a lot of training i managed to dunk for the first time. Throughout the 1 year i played bball i have been insulted countless times. Your description for The ‘hater’ really struck me. Its exactly like one of my ‘ friends’ . Sometimes i would never feel good being with him but i have very few friends. So let me ask you. If you could either go hang out with friends or train boxing , which would you choose?

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Johnny N January 22, 2013 at 8:38 pm

It depends on my goal. If my goal is to be world champion, I would go train. If my goal was to be popular and have friends, I’d go hang out with friends.

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alexander January 14, 2013 at 9:43 am

I want to thank you very much for this article. Keep on encouraging people to be positive and keep their dreams alive. Again, thank you.

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Olindo January 23, 2013 at 9:56 pm

J.
I am really enjoying these articles and they have come at the right time in my life.

many thanks

O

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Giorgos, Crete January 31, 2013 at 3:38 pm

That was one of the most nice and useful articles I ‘ve read. And believe me I ‘ve read a lot.

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Jorge February 8, 2013 at 2:19 am

Johnny, what can I say that hasn’t been said. I’ve found out about your site around a month ago, and only because I was looking into boxing on a whim. I’m trying to lose weight to join the air force and just want to thank you for writing these articles. Not only are they educational but more importantly they are motivational, and each one shows how much you love and respect the sweet science. It’s hard to find authentic people who enjoy life and are so readily open to share this joy with others. Keep up the awesome work man, thanks.

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Eric February 9, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Excellent articles man, all of them.

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Bernardo Diaz Infante February 20, 2013 at 9:47 pm

HEY JOHNNY GREAT ARTICLES ON HOW TO BE GREAT BRO, VERY INSPIRING, I HAVE HIGH HOPES OF MAKING IT TO THE TOP AND AT LEAST PROVING TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT BOXING IS WHAT I LOVE AND I WILL DO IT, EVEN IF THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN ME , YOUR WEB SITE HAS BEEN VERY HELPFUL AND IT HAS VERY GOOD ADVISE, I GOT MY ASS WHIPPED SPARING YESTERDAY AND WAS FEELING KINDA BLUE BUT I HAPPENED TO BUMP IN TO THIS ARTICLE AND ITS GOT ME MOTIVATED AGAIN, THANK YOU!!! I’M GONNA BE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD ONE DAY!!!!

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Mike February 24, 2013 at 5:16 am

great article johnny. i myself think people are negative because they have done it for so long, that it becomes a constant habit and they dont try hard enough to break it.

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T March 2, 2013 at 1:40 pm

What a great article. I needed this, it expresses exactly what I feel. I really can’t stand to be around emotional vampires who bring you down just being around them!

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araz April 2, 2013 at 12:30 am

Yea, neggativity is always anoyying. I work out iv gotten little better, some family members I rarely see told me I have gotten weak and skinny, I felt pretty down, but I knew they were ass holes so I just didn’t respond. If it was stranger , would of been a dead stranger

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Northman April 15, 2013 at 4:29 pm

Amazing article!I do a bit kickboxing myself and i recently bin gathering info from your site.
Great site and ur truly an exceptional individual=)

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Shrikanya April 17, 2013 at 12:44 pm

Thanks for your post Johnny. Negative people not only make us feel bad but eat away our souls. Somehow, after a while, we start to become one of them. I have decided to get rid of such people no matter what. At least, that way, I will be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning and feel proud.

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G-money May 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm

“….but for some reason you just feel down and powerless when they’re around.” This is such a great article, I have it book-marked on my phone and turn to it for continual inspiration when necessary. Thanks,

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Razvan May 10, 2013 at 7:22 pm

You are totally right about the negativity bit. I wouldn’t necessarily call it that though. In my experience some people are really nasty. They begin by pretending they want to be your friends and be on your side and then slowly start to bring you down. I’ve lost years of my life because of people like that. I still remember someone I thought was my friend telling me “no more laughs and smiles now ah?”; and that was during one of the worst times in my life; I was too shocked to even acknowledge at that point what he actually said. Everything looked like I was living another life which I couldn’t control. Took me half a year to recover and then after two years of hard work I got tricked again and lost everything… After two years of hard work and most nights only sleeping 5 hours; sometimes couldn’t sleep at all, I lost it… Funny or not the thing that actually hurt me the most the second time was that it looked like I just didn’t learn anything. It wasn’t the time, the effort, the pain and the work; it wasn’t the fact that I was pretty much constantly feeling tired and not the fact that I had nothing to show for all my effort. What really annoyed me the most was that it seemed to me that I am just doomed to put in the effort and make the same or similar mistakes over and over again.
However I did notice some changes though: I think I’ve become better at recognizing people that have a bad influence. Some of my long term friends told me that I’ve become more circumspect and somehow withdrawn, like I’m shielding my thoughts. The close ones know bits and pieces about what happened; at first they laugh… years ago I would have thought it funny too… as they found out more they became upset about it.
It still bothers me, but not as much as it used to. I feel that my mind frame and self confidence are down so I try to avoid letting people in until I rebuild myself.
I am much more careful about what people tell me; does it help me or not? If not are they just having a bad time or is this on a constant basis? I also watch how they behave towards other people. Some of them seem to have a big ego problem in the sense they constantly bring others down; most of the times they are quite subtle but once you experience their tactics a couple of times you start recognizing them. I want to intervene but I don’t know how or maybe I don’t feel strong enough or maybe I’ve become a coward; the only thing I do is effectively avoid them, and if I can’t, I just try to keep my calm and tell myself they are wrong… the rest… I guess they can handle themselves.
The second thing is something that I would like to do: build something for myself, something it cannot be taken away.
If you go through it, even though it looks like and probably it doesn’t make any sense, you will learn something out of it… it may not be what you wanted or expected but something will come out of all your efforts. I sleep much better now and slowly I’m fighting against my self doubt. I don’t know if I will manage to banish it, but if I do I know I will be much better.
My aim right now is simple: try to become slightly better every day. Don’t compare yourself to other people or what you used to be: just get slightly better in every way you can. Try as much as you can to avoid negative memories, ugly feelings and specially nasty people… they only drag you down.
Hope this helps someone; if they had the patience to read all my nonsense.

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Chiler March 18, 2014 at 1:10 pm

You sound strong to me. You make sence. Whatever it was that hurt you sounds very deep and intense. I hope those positive voices in your head stay with you forever. That’s what helps us grow stronger and become fighting machines as we age. The haters I think stay miserable, blind and backwards.
Positive people work at it. We’re the lucky ones.
May your days be sunny always my friend.

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Kim May 14, 2013 at 12:55 am

Hmm, this is something that I want to learn because I’ve been in a negative zone for a long time and I’m sick of it. I believe it’s time get up and do something for me

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Albert June 1, 2013 at 3:00 pm

Nice post. Very reassuring. However, I would add that negativity can be really subtle sometimes.. I think when you’re at a point of “openess” to the world, (for me it’s cyclical), you tend to approach everything with a light hearted attitude. It tends to manifest itself in a carefreeness that negative people probably flock to like roaches to inject the virus. In contrast, I would say that darkness/negativity in thought is a part of human existence. Everyone experiences it at some point. I think the trick is to identify where its coming from and why..and I do think, when unchecked, the energy really is viral, often masquerading from the left part of the brain(more intellectual/ analytical/critical side). Its effects are suffocating, blinding you from experiencing life outside of your thoughts which have situated themselves into a kind of dominatrix/ heirarchy trip(usually as a result from trying to compensate for the loss your ego has suffered or has been suffering.), desperately seeking to validate itself with converts(to share some dark humor)..Candidates being the more “pure” and seemingly “naive” people who happen to walk in their path. They must create converts as to not feel empty and lonely. It’s a desperate kamikaze, take no prisoners kind of relationship..VERY draining! It doesn’t help that we live in a society that enforces this kind of mentality(Take, take, take..drain, suck dry, next, more please). I would say the difficulty and challenge is to continue and focus on the reality that there are truly other like minded people out there, though seemingly rare. You know it when you meet them though. It’s like finding an island to rest while you were kind of drowning in the sea of bad social experiences thinking that it was your fault. In fact it isn’t. Reality is way more subtle..I’ve met tons of folks where the negativity/or just hater mentality slips in later on. You catch little glimpses at first..but you’re open to making new friends so you say..ahh..whatever, he/she was kidding!..Sooner or later it becomes more noticeable until their presence becomes intolerable. What do you do? Have a talk with them? Difficult. Stay away. Not difficult. Time truly is precious. Find the others.

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Johnny N June 2, 2013 at 12:40 pm

I love the “finding an island while drowning in the sea” analogy! It’s exactly how I’ve felt in many social settings before. And it’s sad that it’s often the norm nowadays.

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Lara July 9, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Hey,

Loved your post. made a lot of my morning better.
I think think you are so right about negative poeple. They are the waste of time that one can no afford to waste and because their life is wasted they only see what they don’t have about you. Sad really. Will try to keep you positives pages with me as my kinda of negative is more of ”one from the inside” and this leads to all the other ones. But for a while now, every day I pray and with lovely summed up writings like yours I am sure to get better the faster ;).

Thanks and good luck!

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Norain July 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm

Thanks for the article!
This really helps to know that it is normal to have negative people on your surroundings. I’m currently struggling with negativity all around me. It is draining and exhausting. Sometimes I feels like giving up!!
I’ll try and use a different approach this time. Hopefully this will helps a little bit. Thanks for sharing. :)

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G-optimist July 23, 2013 at 7:51 am

Hi Johnny N,

A real “Thank you” for such inspirational message. You are true professional by the way. I really have great aim and wanted to establish things up right, but couldn’t deliver, bcoz I’m been surrounded by negative friends. Honestly friends have a real impact on one’s life. I used to ponder why I couldn’t able to deliver things that i wanted to?

Now I’m very sure, I have got rid of these negative friends. I wouldn’t really bother if a friend is supporting by his words or not. But if he/she is always puts words on negative thoughts, back stabber, very possessive people, selfish people, people who use you for their benefits, people think that they have a lot & show-off instead, you know that they are really a bitches and are nothing any-other, they are a really b**ds on yr life. One have to take immediate action on that.

Other that that i dont have any problems wit my family. They are great, have supported me in every step of my life.

Anyways, I’ll follow yours lines of words & all other blogs of you for making me mentally fit and being strong.
Tnks you again..Keep it up…

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Dan August 3, 2013 at 9:35 am

Good article’
Although a more suited title would be ‘Dealing with negative people’ or something along those lines.
Many people are their own worst enemy and they carry negativity of their own accord.
This happens because they allow themselves to be defined & influenced by others and the hectic world in which they live.
For those interested in a very effective strategy to deal with personal issues with self deprivation and negativity and want to have a more clear, focused and functional mind look up ‘Acceptance and commitment therapy’ or ACT.
In a nutshell, ACT helps you to be more mindful by distinguishing between the false self (thinking mind) and the part of you that is observing & experiencing your thoughts and feelings. It is this observational mind that allows you to experience life without judgements and to accept life as it is and adjust effectively to take action in accord with your values and goals.
For those interested read ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris.

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Cam November 12, 2013 at 1:59 pm

Great article, well written and something well positive to read is always refreshing!

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Sriganesh S November 16, 2013 at 6:20 am

Great Johnny,
One question how to differentiate between an hater and an actual teacher who has concern towards me but sometimes criticize me? Kindly comment

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Johnny N November 22, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Usually, you can feel it. A hater makes you feel bad (even though he/she seems to care). A positive teacher can make you feel good even though he/she criticizes you.

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Tiffany November 28, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Great article! I completely agree about what negativity can do to you mentally, emotionally, etc. This post helped me in a time of need. Particularly the part about family. While it’s sad, sometimes you have to recognize they’re toxic too.

Again, great article – keep inspiring people!

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Damien March 7, 2014 at 12:40 pm

this is the most amazing and inspirational post i’ve ever ready. thank you so much!! you inspire and change lives

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Christine March 9, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Great points and advice. I’m confused about the part of a Christian preaching at a Catholic Church. Was that a mistake? Catholics are Christian (the first Christian church). I know you would not try to insult Catholics (or anyone) based on your writing, so we should also remember that not all negative comments are intentional. We should first seek to forgive by giving someone a chance before tossing people away. I thought that was worth saying even if it is obvious…

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Johnny N March 22, 2014 at 1:35 pm

Thanks for the clarification, Christine.

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